Adultery...More Than Just Sexual in Nature

I've been reading a great book that details a husband's infidelity, what brings it about, and how the couple overcomes it (because, although I haven't finished reading, I'm assuming they do actually work past it). For those curious, it's called "Devotion", by Marianne Evans.

Out of curiosity, this afternoon I read some of her reviews for the book on Amazon. And was stunned at the comments made by some of those who'd left the lowest ratings. They believed that the wife had completely overreacted to her husband's infidelity. After all, he didn't actually have sex with the other woman, "merely" kissed her. They scoffed at her desolation and couldn't believe she drug things out as long as she did. One woman even commented that she'd certainly be mad if her husband ever kissed another woman, but she certainly wouldn't take it to the extreme degree the wife in the novel did.

As if it's really only infidelity -- adultery -- if sex takes place.

What a misguided idea--one that is contrary to Scripture.

Jesus is extremely clear about this. Matthew 5:27-28 states "'You have heard that it was said, "Do not commit adultery." But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'"

In "Devotion", Ms Evans makes it clear that from the first time the husband meets the other woman, their relationship is made up a series of choices that slowly turn his head and heart away from his wife, and away from Truth. To see an attractive person and recognize they are attractive isn't necessary evil. Where it starts to turn into a slippery slope is when a second look is given. A conscious thought is made.

In the book, the two characters spend time together, getting to know each other outside of a professional relationship. An emotional connection is made.

Even if there is absolutely no physical contact, once that emotional connection has been made, it becomes infidelity. Even if there is never so much as a kiss.

As a Christian married woman, my heart belongs first to my Savior, and then to my husband. It's a given that my physical demonstrations of the love I feel for him belong only to him. But that emotional connection we share also only belongs solely to him. For me to bestow it upon another man is a slap in the face to him, to our marriage vows, and to God's Truth.

Given all of this, it is completely understandable why the wife is devastated. Shattered. Broken. Her beloved husband has betrayed her trust. That feeling of betrayal doesn't go away overnight. With counseling, and through the grace of forgiveness, it can be overcome. I've seen it happen in other marriages that have suffered through spousal infidelity yet become even stronger afterward.

For us to pretend that infidelity only occurs through sex is potentially damaging. Why? Marriages take work. Especially marriages of long standing. There's talk of marriages becoming comfortable. And while that can be a good thing, I want to warn you not to let comfort turn into complacency, where we take our spouses for granted, or worse, treat them like one of our children.

Keep Christ the center of your marriage. Then, work to keep the flame alive between you and your spouse. No, it doesn't mean things necessarily have to be like your newlywed days. But a spouse that feels cherished, desired, and that they can emotionally connect with their husband or wife is not one apt to fall to temptation when someone comes along offering these things.

Book Review for "Brunch at Bittersweet Cafe" (Saturday Night Supper Club) by Carla Laureano

This is the second in Ms Laureano's Supper Club series. As much as I loved the first book, this one was even better. For one thing, I'm not so much a foodie as one who thoroughly enjoys baked goods and pastries. So reading about Melody's passion for baking (especially her intense love of quality bread) was sufficient to whet my appetite on more than one occasion.

At the opening of the book, Melody finds herself stuck in an unappetizing rut, both in her personal life and professionally. She dreams of owning her own little patisserie, preferably where she can create her favorite breads and French-inspired desserts and pastries. But when she's unexpectedly handed the opportunity to finally bring her dream into reality, will she take it? What happens when she's forced to choose between two loves?

As always, Ms Laureano does an excellent job at character building--so much so that I almost fancied myself a part of the little family of friends. I loved the chance to catch up with the main characters from the first novel, while getting to know Melody and Justin. The amount of research that clearly went into this book was extensive, and it was clear the author did her homework. The romance was sweet, but no overly so, with enough spice to satisfy without being inappropriate (the day-trip date has to be the most romantic idea for a date I've heard in a long time). I especially appreciate that the Christians portrayed in the book are not perfect by any means, as none of us are. They make mistakes, as we all do. Yet, they don't remain stuck where they are, but continue learning and growing in their walk with Christ throughout the book.

I would whole-heartedly recommend this entire series to anyone, and can't wait to learn more about Ana in the next installment.

I received a free copy of the book ahead of time in exchange for an honest review. All opinions and thoughts are my own.