Coming "Home"?

When we left Mexico almost two months ago, as much as I loved Mexico and knew I'd miss my friends there, I was excited to be going "home". We've spent the last two months traveling and visiting friends and family. The longer we're here, however, the more I realize that this really isn't "home" any more. I'm still excited to be here and look forward to seeing friends and meeting new people. But I've come to realize that "home" isn't really as cut and dry a concept as I used to believe.

Definitely, "home" is wherever my family is. Even the most temporary residence can feel like "home" as long as my family is with me.

We had people say to us when we arrived in Mississippi, "welcome home!" In the most technical sense, I guess this is the closest thing to "home" we've had since we first got married--it's certainly where we've spent the most time (at this point, ten out of our sixteen years of marriage were spent here). But even Mississippi doesn't feel like "home" anymore. Perhaps that's because we gave up our house and put all of our belongings in storage when we left for Costa Rica two years ago.

I can't tell you how many people said to me, "Just wait until you go back. It's not going to be the same. It won't feel like 'home' anymore." I listened but shrugged off this advice, reasoning to myself that, as it's only been two years, what could change? How could things be that different in such a short amount of time?

And for the most part, things are the same. Oh, there are new buildings and new people in the roles we left. And some folks have moved away.

The biggest difference is that we have changed.

I can't really say that Mexico is "home" yet. I'm not like two of my teammates who have served in Mexico for nearly two decades and feel very at home there.

I think that, as long as the States are "home" to me, I'll struggle with adapting to life in Mexico. Maybe this is not the case for everyone, but I think it is me. I'm not saying I can never feel at home here, but as long as I measure everything I do by how I used to do it in the States, I'll continue to struggle with culture stress on the field.

Last week, I realized that an important shift has taken place. In every place we visited, be it with our families, or at our headquarters in Indiana, or here in Mississippi, I kept waiting for that feeling of "home" to come. Sure, every place we visited (but Abilene--that's a new place for my in-laws since we left two years ago) was familiar. But not "home". Not anymore.

I was initially sad about this until I realized that it means I'm slowly letting go of my life here. The people will always be important to me and I'll always miss seeing them when we're away. But I also think this is a healthy--necessary--step for me to take in order to become the missionary God has called me to be.

And today, I'm grateful that God is helping to bring about this change in me. I look forward with great anticipation to returning to Mexico and really working hard to make the necessary steps to adapt to the culture.

Please pray that God will continue to keep me restless for "home" while we're in the States. We don't want to get too comfortable that we forget where our calling is. Thank you!

An Inspiring Author's Dream Come True

A dream I've had since I was ten years old was fulfilled this week. I am now a published author! Justin & Emma's story went live on Amazon (in both paper and Kindle form) this week.

It was very surreal to go to Amazon and, for the first time ever, know that there was an author listing for a book I've written. It's even more surreal to actually read that book on my Kindle! Let me just say, reading it on the computer as part of a draft is not the same.

In the short time it's been available, the interest and support of friends has been overwhelming. People I don't even know are sharing the Amazon links, and people I don't even know are actually buying my book!

Now that my baby is out there, the real work comes. I am so thankful for my new friends in the Christian Indie Authors group. They have a wealth of information and experience to share with newbies like me, and they've been incredibly supportive. I'm now working to develop a Goodreads author page and my own author Twitter account, just to aid in the marketing process. But I know I have a lot to learn in the coming months.

For now, I'm trying to do what I can in the evening hours, but I want to also enjoy our time with the family. More fun to come!

Promotional Posters for "The Reunion"

I created 22 teaser posters with content directly from the book. I also created several promotional posters that detail the imminent release of the book. These don't contain any content from the book:

Promotional Poster Number 1:

Promotional Poster Number 2:

Promotional Poster Number 3:

It Begins

I've said many times that I'm going to have to develop a much thicker skin if I want to be an author (which I do). I'm about as thin-skinned as a jellyfish right now. Must develop the thickness of a rhino if I want to avoid developing a critical spirit of my own when people decide they don't like my work. Yes, even before they've even read more than a few sentences. Haven't I, after all, read a few paragraphs of a story before and absolutely hated it? Haven't I been overly critical at times about other authors' writing styles....or lack of proper grammar? Yes, and yes.

There will be people who think my plot line trite and overdone. There will be people who think my book poorly written (although I hope not). There will be people--I can guarantee--who think my book too preachy, or complain about it being "Christian" (never mind the fact I plan to make it ABUNDANTLY clear what my book is and what it is not).

I think sometimes any excitement from friends or people who know me to read what I've written goes straight to my head, and I get "the big head". I try not to let this happen, of course, but it invariably does. So that makes it all the more difficult when there are those who have--already--expressed disdain. Before a word is even in print, and the only things actively representing my writing are this blog and the teaser posters I've made.

I need to remind myself that I am not a professional. I've never done this before. Any of it. Not the book. Not the publishing. Not the cover creation. And certainly not the teaser posters. A graphic artist I am not--unfortunately, artistic creativity in that sense has completely eluded me. And for crying out loud, a blog is at times nothing more than a glorified diary for grownups.

While I make every effort to find something positive to say in the reviews of even the books I dislike the most, I realize not everyone embraces this policy.

I will not wake up tomorrow with the skin of a rhino. This I know. I also know that it's a process. Just as I need to guard myself from getting "the big head" when I receive the positive reviews, I also need to guard myself from getting too critical or defensive when I don't. And maybe, just maybe, those negative reviews will have something to say that truly helps me in the long run.

Social Media Promoting

I've created a Facebook page and a Pinterest board just for the promotion of 'The Reunion'. As of now, I'm shooting for a mid-June book release.

Anyway, a fellow author in a Christian authors' group gave me the idea of creating teaser posters to share on social media as a means of promoting the book prior to release. Great idea! So far, I've created eleven posters, two of which have gone "live". I'm going to do another one or two in the next couple days and then restrict them to once a week until the book release. Hopefully, it'll help generate interest.

Teaser Posters

A friend in an online group for Christian writers gave me the idea to create "teaser posters" to promote the coming release of my book. Here are the posters:

Number One:

Number Two:

Number Three:

Number Four:

Number Five:

Number Six:

Number Seven:

Number Eight:

Number Nine:

Number Ten:

Number Eleven:

Number Twelve:

Number Thirteen:

Number Fourteen:

Number Fifteen:

Number Sixteen:

Number Seventeen:

Number Eighteen:

Number Nineteen:

Number Twenty: (and the most important)

Number Twenty-one:

Number Twenty-two:

Culture Stress

I remember the day not long after our arrival in Costa Rica where I had a complete emotional meltdown (yes, there's a blog entry about that). Then during language school, there were days where I had had enough of Spanish. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to speak it. I didn't want to read it. While those days didn't occur very often, unfortunately for me when they did, it was always within the first 10 minutes of my first class, which was grammar.

Again, I've had my moments here in Mexico (most notably during the house-hunting process. There is, again, a blog entry about that, but it was never posted. Some things I write and choose not to share with everyone), but they have, again, thankfully been few and far between.

And then there's today.

This morning, I am unaccountably weepy, irritable, and hyper sensitive. The littlest things set me off into bouts of tears or anger: the front gate left open, clutter, the kids' squabbles, a friendly "how are you doing?", the realization that I mistook color-safe bleach for liquid detergent.

I can't remember the last time I had a sound, full night's sleep.

And Spanish. Oy. Some days I feel like I'm making real progress. This weekend, however, it felt like everything I was trying to communicate might as well have been in French for all that was understood by my listeners. And those trying to speak to me might as well have been speaking in French, as little as I understood them. I am heartily tired of not being understood and not understanding what's said to me in return. I've been told that the only way for this to get better is to spend more time listening and speaking the language. But when you're discouraged or experiencing culture stress, the last thing you want to do is hear or speak it more. And so you avoid it like the plague, which only makes it that much harder to speak and understand. It's a vicious, vicious circle.

I truly do love living in Mexico. I love the people, most of the food (as long as it's not too spicy), and the culture. There are far, far, far more things I love about life here than I dislike (mostly the driving). But I find myself increasingly homesick, looking forward to seeing friends and family and having the chance to become reacquainted with familiar places.

I did a little research on culture stress. All of the above are symptoms of this emotional state. I'm not exactly sure how to make it better. I plan to spend time in prayer, listening to the sounds and music that soothe me and raise my spirit, and rest. I definitely covet your prayers in the next few days especially.