It's been a couple days since my last post, and I feel like God's been speaking to me about it.
A missionary friend of mine shared this with me on Facebook:
are right, it is absolutely a legitimate and beautiful desire as a
wife and mother! When I feel very discouraged about it, I find that it
helps me to remember that this lifestyle constantly reminds me of my
longing for my heavenly home. If I lived in my own very comfortable home
here, I would be tempted to lose sight of that. So, when I long to
make my place a cozy nest, I remind myself that God has prepared a
forever place for us!
She could not know that her words mirrored what the Lord had been speaking to my heart at the same time.
This morning, on the way to church, this issue was addressed again--this time, by the Christian radio DJ. She was talking about a book she'd recently read about the root of jealousy and discontent. When we look at others and are jealous about relationships, things, places, situations, etc. they have or are in, we are really saying to God that we are unhappy with the life He has blessed us with. We're really complaining to God that He hasn't given us what we want, instead of being thankful for the things He has blessed us with. The DJ said that this spirit of discontent is sinful and something that we need to give to God--daily if need be.
I hadn't thought about it like that.
Then, while I was still noodling what I'd heard, God gently suggested to me that perhaps this restlessness, this unfulfilled desire to make a home, is something He's allowed me to have. He knows me better than I do, so He knows that if I were to get comfortable here, I might have a hard time leaving. Comfort is a huge thing to me, and can be a blessing.....or a danger. If I get too comfortable, I tend to be less likely to immediately obey when He asks me to act. And I know that until God calls me Home to Heaven, He has placed me in Mexico City, not the U.S. I may be here for a time, but it's not to stay.
So while my God-given desire to make a home for my family is a good and wonderful thing, it can easily become a stumbling block if I let it. It might not be that way for other missionary ladies. But God has been showing me that for me, it is.
Therefore, the new way you can pray for me is that God will help me give this longing to Him each day and not let it distract me from the work He has for me today.