11/01/2011

Built-in Alarms

Anyone with children, or anyone who has been around children, can tell you that they come with built-in alarms. And unfortunately, these alarms do not come with a snooze button. Or an "off" switch---although if I could figure out where it is, I'd be a popular woman!

Here's what their built-in alarm looks like. You've just stepped into the shower and lathered shampoo in your hair. Dreaming of enjoying the rest of your leisurely shower? Think again! The kids' built-in alarm has just alerted them to the fact that they must see you NOW. When it is LEAST convenient. Children that can ignore me all day suddenly find an urgent and pressing need to disrupt my shower. It's never as I'm finishing up. Never after I've applied the conditioner. It's always at the point-of-no return, when I know---and I believe THEY know---it will take the longest amount of time until I'm available. Which means one of two things. Either you listen to their whining, crying, and fighting all through your shower (say goodbye to any enjoyment you might've found), or you zip through it as if you are the super hero Flash.

Incidentally, this same built-in alarm is the same one used by infants to help them know when they are hungry. You're just sitting down to a delectable, toasty dinner (which you've miraculously managed to prepare with little ones in the house), and have been eagerly anticipating that first, delicious bite. Sorry! The baby's built-in alarm sounds, alerting the previously contented child that he or she is ravenously hungry and must eat. NOW. Bye-bye hot dinner.

I wish I knew how to disable these alarms. Until then, I guess I can always dream of what it might be like to finish a shower or enjoy 5 minutes in the bathroom uninterrupted.

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