Not Letting Go

Over the weekend, I came to the difficult decision to put my story away for awhile. To allow myself time to refresh mentally and physically after the last grueling six months.

I was at peace about this. Felt it to be right.

There's just one problem.

My characters won't let me go. They're never far from my mind. I keep thinking of various plot lines and how they might be concluded.

This is completely unexpected. Usually, when I finally make a decision I feel good about, my mind clears. Quite the opposite has happened.

Imagine you've remembered some items you need to get at the grocery store. Now imagine it's very late at night and you're just drifting off to sleep. Or, at least trying to sleep. But you can't, can you? Not until you get up and finally write down those remembered items for your list.

That's what this is like.

So here I am, alone in a quiet house, the rest of the family at the park.

And I'm about to do the one thing I said I wouldn't.

I'm going to write.

A Hard Decision

For the last year, it has been my goal to finish my novel by December 31 of this year. Today, I accepted the reality that I'm just not going to reach this goal.

I struggled to write today--have been struggling to write--just because of this goal. Why? Why work so hard on something that is just not coming together the way it needs to? A writer's first novel should be something she enjoys. Not something she dreads.

As a perfectionist, I want this to be the very best effort I can make. And what I've been coming up with is certainly not that.

I think I underestimated just how mentally draining language school and learning to adapt to life in a new culture would be. I'm exhausted! Physically and mentally.

So, I've made the difficult decision to put it away until at least after Christmas. Then, maybe, once I've had some rest and taken time to really enjoy this first Christmas away with my family, I'll get it back out and work on it. Hopefully, fresh ideas will come to my refreshed mind.

If not, I'll not stress.

Right now, my only goal for this novel is to finish it and begin the publication process within 2013. I know it will be an up-hill battle, and I'm fully willing to publish it myself if the two companies I've found are not interested.

But I want to enjoy the process. No matter how long it takes.