For the last year, it has been my goal to finish my novel by December 31 of this year. Today, I accepted the reality that I'm just not going to reach this goal.
I struggled to write today--have been struggling to write--just because of this goal. Why? Why work so hard on something that is just not coming together the way it needs to? A writer's first novel should be something she enjoys. Not something she dreads.
As a perfectionist, I want this to be the very best effort I can make. And what I've been coming up with is certainly not that.
I think I underestimated just how mentally draining language school and learning to adapt to life in a new culture would be. I'm exhausted! Physically and mentally.
So, I've made the difficult decision to put it away until at least after Christmas. Then, maybe, once I've had some rest and taken time to really enjoy this first Christmas away with my family, I'll get it back out and work on it. Hopefully, fresh ideas will come to my refreshed mind.
If not, I'll not stress.
Right now, my only goal for this novel is to finish it and begin the publication process within 2013. I know it will be an up-hill battle, and I'm fully willing to publish it myself if the two companies I've found are not interested.
But I want to enjoy the process. No matter how long it takes.