Over the weekend, I came to the difficult decision to put my story away for awhile. To allow myself time to refresh mentally and physically after the last grueling six months.
I was at peace about this. Felt it to be right.
There's just one problem.
My characters won't let me go. They're never far from my mind. I keep thinking of various plot lines and how they might be concluded.
This is completely unexpected. Usually, when I finally make a decision I feel good about, my mind clears. Quite the opposite has happened.
Imagine you've remembered some items you need to get at the grocery store. Now imagine it's very late at night and you're just drifting off to sleep. Or, at least trying to sleep. But you can't, can you? Not until you get up and finally write down those remembered items for your list.
That's what this is like.
So here I am, alone in a quiet house, the rest of the family at the park.
And I'm about to do the one thing I said I wouldn't.
I'm going to write.
12/18/2012
12/15/2012
A Hard Decision
For the last year, it has been my goal to finish my novel by December 31 of this year. Today, I accepted the reality that I'm just not going to reach this goal.
I struggled to write today--have been struggling to write--just because of this goal. Why? Why work so hard on something that is just not coming together the way it needs to? A writer's first novel should be something she enjoys. Not something she dreads.
As a perfectionist, I want this to be the very best effort I can make. And what I've been coming up with is certainly not that.
I think I underestimated just how mentally draining language school and learning to adapt to life in a new culture would be. I'm exhausted! Physically and mentally.
So, I've made the difficult decision to put it away until at least after Christmas. Then, maybe, once I've had some rest and taken time to really enjoy this first Christmas away with my family, I'll get it back out and work on it. Hopefully, fresh ideas will come to my refreshed mind.
If not, I'll not stress.
Right now, my only goal for this novel is to finish it and begin the publication process within 2013. I know it will be an up-hill battle, and I'm fully willing to publish it myself if the two companies I've found are not interested.
But I want to enjoy the process. No matter how long it takes.
I struggled to write today--have been struggling to write--just because of this goal. Why? Why work so hard on something that is just not coming together the way it needs to? A writer's first novel should be something she enjoys. Not something she dreads.
As a perfectionist, I want this to be the very best effort I can make. And what I've been coming up with is certainly not that.
I think I underestimated just how mentally draining language school and learning to adapt to life in a new culture would be. I'm exhausted! Physically and mentally.
So, I've made the difficult decision to put it away until at least after Christmas. Then, maybe, once I've had some rest and taken time to really enjoy this first Christmas away with my family, I'll get it back out and work on it. Hopefully, fresh ideas will come to my refreshed mind.
If not, I'll not stress.
Right now, my only goal for this novel is to finish it and begin the publication process within 2013. I know it will be an up-hill battle, and I'm fully willing to publish it myself if the two companies I've found are not interested.
But I want to enjoy the process. No matter how long it takes.
11/07/2012
The Reunion - Prologue and Chapter 1
Many of you have asked me what my novel-in-progress is about. The following is the prologue and first chapter, exactly as it appears in the story. Hope you enjoy it!
The Reunion
June - Present Year
The minivan crept along the cemetery road past rows and rows of tombstones, coming to a stop in front of one underneath an ancient weeping willow tree. A young woman emerged from the vehicle and reached back inside for a bag and the box of plants sitting on the passenger seat. She shut the door with her leg and carefully made her way over to the tombstone. Next to it was a bench, and onto this she set her armful of plants. Then, she reached into the bag for her gardening tools.
She knelt in front of the tombstone, digging holes and then planting each of the various bunches of flowers in the loamy soil. Satisfied with her work, she wiped her brow with the back of her hand and settled back in the lush grass.
With a sigh, she thought again about today’s date: June 2. Had it already been a year? It didn’t seem possible. This was the first time she’d been to his grave in months. She’d last visited eight weeks after the funeral. At first, she was in no shape to even leave the house, sicker than she’d ever been in her life. Then, once she’d started feeling better, their little town of Cancun, Colorado experienced the full brunt of a brutal mountain winter. She just couldn’t risk an accident on the mountainous road between her house and the cemetery--not when she was the only parent they had left. And then in recent months, she’d been busier than she’d ever thought possible. No matter how busy things were at home, or how much seeing his beloved name in stone with those two dates below it hurt, she knew nothing would keep her from being here today with him. On the very worst kind of anniversary.
Andrew Emmitt Darcy
Safe in the arms of Jesus
She ran her fingers lovingly over the name, melancholy once again at the gruesome thought of his life cut so violently short. He’d only been thirty. So young. It still didn’t make sense to her. But did losing a loved one this way ever make sense? She wasn’t the first, and would certainly not be the last to experience this kind of horror. However, there was no comfort in knowing that.
She listened to the wind whispering its words of comfort through the leaves on the trees, closing her mind to the memories of that dreadful night. Not yet. She was not ready--there were other things to think of first. Using her sleeve to wipe the tears from her eyes, she brushed her hands off and reached once more for the bag. From inside, she carefully pulled out a small box made of marble. Lifting the lid, she extracted each item one by one. A picture drawn by her four-year-old son of his interpretation of Daddy singing with the angels in Heaven. A small plastic bag containing several wispy locks of hair taken from her two-year-old son’s first haircut. Another plastic bag containing several pictures. These she removed from the bag and held up, explaining each one.
“Here’s Emmitt at his fourth birthday party with the toy train set our parents chipped in and bought him. And here’s Will taking his first steps.” She flipped through the pictures one by one, each memory more bittersweet than the last. She would always treasure these special moments with her sons--Andrew’s sons. They were pieces of him she would have with her forever. They both even boasted more of his features and appearance than hers. Yet, she wished once again that it could’ve been different. That he could’ve been in the pictures, sharing these precious memories with her.
There were several pictures that had been separated from the others when she’d first removed them from the bag. These she now took in her hands.
“When I was here last, I told you that I suspected I might be pregnant. Turns out that I was. Andrew, I’d like to introduce you to your little daughter, Andrea,” she said, and held up a picture of a tiny infant wrapped in a pink blanket. “I named her after both of us--Andrea Joy.” One by one, she held up several pictures of their daughter taken at various stages in her short four months of life. “She was conceived that morning....that morning we were together for the very last time. She was my very last gift from you, my love.” A daughter. When Will was born, they’d talked about trying once more for a little girl. While he loved his sons, Andrew had always wanted a daughter. One who would be “Daddy’s little girl”. And of course, she had dreamed of having someone to dress up and show off. Now, they finally had a daughter. A daughter her husband would never hold close to his heart. A daughter without a father to walk her down the aisle when she married.
It was still incomprehensible to her.
She returned the pictures to the bag, gently lay them in the box with the other mementos, and then placed the box behind the flowers up against the tombstone. She’d leave them here for him. Even though she knew he wasn’t actually here, it comforted her somehow to know that the box was there.
She leaned back against the tree, drew her knees up into her chest, and closed her eyes. Even closed, the words on the tombstone were clear enough that they seemed embedded in her very mind. Against her will, the memories of that day flooded back to her. Some of the memories were achingly tender, precious. But others, like those from that horrible night...
The night of the reunion---the night Andrew was killed.
Chapter 1
June, 1 Year Ago
Emma Darcy awoke to the smell of coffee percolating in the kitchen down the hallway from the bedroom she shared with her husband, Andrew. There wasn’t anything quite like that first scent of her favorite caffeinated beverage first thing in the morning. And thanks to Andrew’s Mother’s Day present last month, each morning the coffee pot was timed to wake her up with a fresh brew promptly at six-thirty. She rolled onto her side and glanced at her husband, only to realize he was already awake and watching her. She knew that look--he had something in mind.
“‘Mornin’, babe,” he purred, leaning in for what he intended to be a lingering kiss.
She grinned at him before covering her mouth with her hand. “Morning breath, Andrew. Can I please brush first? Can you please brush first?”
Laughing, he pulled her into his arms and began nuzzling her neck. “Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.” He proceeded to trail kisses along her ear and neck, then started inching lower.
Emma giggled, placing a restraining hand on his bare chest. “Andrew! I’m serious! Can’t we at least have a mint or something?”
He reached over to the bedside table and found a roll of mints left there for such occasions. After unwrapping two of them, he popped one into his mouth and the other one into hers, wiggling his blond eyebrows at her suggestively. “There, is that better? You know the munchkins will be up soon, so we don’t have a lot of time here.”
“Romantic, honey. Real romantic.”
He framed her face with his hands. Brushed his lips across hers in a sweet kiss. “Can I help it if I’m madly, passionately, in love with--and can’t get enough of--my wife?” he asked, tenderly caressing her lips with his thumb before kissing them again. “You are so beautiful. What did I ever do to deserve you?”
She favored him with a watery smile. “Andrew,” she half whispered, half sighed. “I love you.”
_____________________________________________________________________________
Two hours later, Emma finished drying her hair, then slipped her feet into a pair of flip-flops. Andrew was finishing up in the shower and then they’d decided to take the boys out for breakfast this morning. It was up to her to make sure they were dressed and ready to go.
She snuck to the room next to theirs and carefully opened the door. Amazingly, the boys were still asleep. It was practically unheard of for them to sleep so late. Thinking back to the last two hours she’d spent with her husband, she was extremely thankful for their stolen time together.
Emma crept to one-year-old William Andrew’s crib and gently peeled back his light blanket. Will was laying on his stomach, knees pulled up and his little bottom stuck up in the air. His blond, curly hair--so much like his Daddy’s--was plastered to his head and the back of his neck in tight corkscrews. Thumb stuck firmly in his mouth, with plump, cherubic baby cheeks, he was absolutely adorable. In the toddler bed across from the crib was three-year-old Emmitt Michael. The little boy was another little miniature of his father, except that his hair was not curly and stuck out in large tufts from the top of his head.
She turned slightly when she heard her husband enter the room, smiling when he slipped his arms around her from behind, drawing her firmly against his broad chest.
They stood there together, watching their sleeping sons for a few minutes. Then, he turned her in his arms and lowered his mouth to hers for a tender kiss. “They take my breath away---just like their mother,” he whispered, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand.
Emma melted into his arms. “I love you, Andrew.”
“I love you more, Em,” he whispered back, kissing her nose. “Shall we wake up the little princes?”
Forty-five minutes later, the family was settled at the corner booth in their favorite Mom & Pop restaurant, waiting for their orders to arrive. Andrew and Emma enjoyed a leisurely conversation while the boys colored on paper place mats. After breakfast, they took the boys to a park near their house that had a playground geared more toward smaller children like theirs. They took turns pushing Will in a baby swing and chasing Emmitt between the swings and the slides. The family’s delightful morning together was concluded with chocolate ice cream cones from Dairy Queen before it was time to head back home. The boys were exhausted after their busy morning and needed a nap.
While Andrew made sure the boys were asleep, Emma headed back to their room and pulled out the new black dress she’d purchased for tonight’s reunion. It was hard to imagine that it had already been ten years since high school graduation! Where had the time gone? She stood in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the closet door and held the dress up to her body, trying to imagine how it would look once she’d completed her hair and makeup.
Andrew stopped in the doorway of their room and leaned on the jam, his muscular arms crossed in front of him. He caught Emma’s eye in the mirror and a slow, seductive smile spread across his handsome face. “I confess I can’t wait to see my hot wife in her sexy new dress.”
She rolled her eyes at him and tossed the dress onto the bed. “I’d hardly call it that, Andrew.”
He sidled up to her and grasped her slim waist. “Consider what I normally see you wearing, babe. T-shirts and jeans. Trust me, it is sexy.”
Emma favored him with a sly grin and cupped the back of his head, pulling him toward her for a kiss. As often happened between them, the kiss quickly intensified.
Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and distanced himself from temptation. After a quick glance at his watch, he groaned. “As much as I’d love to crawl into that bed with you and show you just how sexy I think you are, it’s time for me to go. I’m gonna be late if I stay much longer.”
Emma sat on the bed, watching him pull together materials for both of his classes. “I can’t wait until you’re finished with your Master’s, honey.”
“I know, Em, me too. You bringing my suit tonight?”
“If you like. The black one?”
Andrew nodded.
She rose and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Count on it,” he whispered, resting his forehead briefly against hers before giving her a last lingering kiss. “I doubt I’ll be able to concentrate in class, I’ll be too busy thinking about going home with the hottest girl at the reunion.”
Emma laughed and blew him a kiss.
After watching Andrew’s Durango pull out of the garage, she checked on the boys one more time and then headed back to her room to rest awhile. She knew her husband would find something to do to keep them both up late tonight and she’d need every minute of rest she could get now.
________________________________________________________________________________
Dr. Justin Bennet slid several coins into the vending machine and pressed the button for some water. Twisting the cap off, he brought the bottle to his full lips and guzzled almost half of its contents.
“Thirsty, eh, Bennet?” came a thick Southern drawl from slightly behind him.
He turned and grinned at the sweaty man who’d spoken. “You ought to know, Williams, considering I beat your sorry self at tennis just now.”
The other gentleman laughed heartily. “That’s a good one. Keep on tellin’ yourself that if it makes you feel any better,” he quipped as they made their way toward the gym’s locker room. “And what does Cancun’s Bachelor of the Year have planned for tonight?”
Justin rolled his eyes and groaned. Not that again. He could not understand how in the world he’d even been nominated for that title, let alone actually winning it. Surely there were men on the list more befitting the title than him.
“As a matter of fact, I’m going to a high school reunion.”
Williams’ face mirrored his displeasure. “Sure you can’t get out of it? There’s a great party tonight at the Chief of Staff’s mountain cabin.”
Those kinds of parties held about as much thrill for Justin as that blasted Bachelor of the Year title. His idea of fun was not spending an evening watching colleagues from the hospital get plastered. Social drinking held no appeal. Not anymore. What was enjoyable about becoming so inebriated you couldn’t remember what you’d done the night before? Not to mention the physical after-effects of being drunk. He’d left all of that behind him years ago, thanks be to God. “Thanks, but no thanks. You know I’m not into that.”
His friend punched his arm and chuckled. “And that’s why you won the title, my friend. A respectable, successful surgeon who’s a gentleman to boot. You truly are an enigma to the people of this town. Have fun at your reunion,” he called as the two headed to separate parts of the locker room.
“I fully intend to,” Justin whispered softly.
After all, she would be there.
10/23/2012
Time's a Flyin'
It suddenly occurred to me tonight that we have something like 68 days left until the end of the year. Which means there are only 68 days left for me to accomplish the other goal I set for myself last year: to finish my novel by the end of the year. Eep! 68 days is not a lot of time. Particularly when one is also attempting to learn another language and has the bulk of each day taken up with classes, homework, and studying. And that's just me. Factor in my normal housewife jobs as well as helping the kids with their own schoolwork... I typically hit the sheets at 10 completely wiped.
So I'm either going to have to set a new goal for myself, or I'm going to have to recruit some help from the hubs. We shall see..
So I'm either going to have to set a new goal for myself, or I'm going to have to recruit some help from the hubs. We shall see..
9/06/2012
When the Earth Moves
(From our ministry blog about our first earthquake yesterday.)
Yesterday began like a normal day. We got up at 6, everyone got showered
and/or dressed for the day, we ate breakfast, the kids and I fixed
their lunches, and we made sure all the previous day's homework had made
it successfully back into the bags for the short trek to school. Just
moments before we left the house, Troy huddled us all together and read
the Psalm for the day (Psalm 5), then Cody led the family in prayer.
Here is Psalm 5 in its entirety:
Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch. For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers. You destroy those who speak lies; the LORD abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house. I will bow down toward your holy temple in the fear of you. Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me. For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue. Make them bear their guilt, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out, for they have rebelled against you. But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.
In the morning you hear my voice... Let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them... For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.
These are verses that were especially poignant to us later in the morning.
School begins at 7:30. After the first hour, we take a short break and move on to our second class. For me, that means staying in the same room for both hours (both hours make up my grammar class). My room is on the second floor of the building. With the windows open and the ceiling fan on, there is the most delicious breeze up there. Troy's two morning classes are downstairs (I believe his last 2 hours of the day make up his grammar class, but I'm not positive. As it always took me at least a month into a new semester during his seminary days to know his schedule, so it is here. I'm happy enough just to know my own!)
Just after we'd begun the second part of my grammar session, my desk started shaking. At first, I thought the man behind me had his feet on it and was really nervous about something. It was that soft. Then, the shaking became more intense and I realized with a jolt that he was not shaking my chair: we were experiencing our first earthquake! The first bit of it lasted just a few seconds, then it briefly stopped. We all looked at each other and at the teacher. He was perfectly calm, and looked as if he believed it was over. But it wasn't. When the room began very intensely shaking (I was actually getting quite nauseous at this point from the motion), my teacher marshaled us out the door. He remained calm throughout, but the sharpness in his tone relayed the urgency of the situation. As calmly as individuals who have never experienced an earthquake can be, we quickly walked down the stairs and congregated on the sidewalk in front of the building. I was immediately panicked for the children. Were they okay? Were they hurt? Were they as scared as I was? I felt a check in my soul about immediately rushing to them, and I believe that was a good thing. Troy is much calmer in emergency situations than I am, and as his class evacuated, instead of heading to the parking lot (which was what the rest of us were told to do), he immediately went to check on the kids. Because of his attitude upon discovering them ("Hey, guys wasn't that cool?"), the kids had a better initial outlook upon the situation than they would've if Mama had come flying down the stairs, gathering them all up in her arms and weeping over them.
Once the adults had gathered in the upper parking lot (our designated meeting place for emergencies) and the kids had gathered in the lower playground (their designated meeting place for emergencies), the adults met in the chapel to pray and to catch our breaths. Most of the Spanish teachers are women, many mothers concerned about their own children. It was at that point that someone looked up the information. That the epicenter was in a town on the NW Pacific coast (about 88 miles from San Jose), that it was a 7.6 on the Richter scale, and that due to its location, a tsunami warning had been issued up and down the Pacific coast from Mexico to Peru. Thankfully, it was cancelled shortly afterward without any tsunamis reported. We rejoiced that, aside from some books that fell off the shelves in the library and a few clocks that fell off the wall, there was no damage to the campus. There were no injuries, and everyone was okay. What a miracle!
I couldn't help but remember the Psalm Troy had read just a few hours before. God had indeed been our refuge and our shield during the earthquake. He protected us from harm. He protected the campus from harm. In all of Costa Rica, there was only 1 death reported, and that was a heart-attack due to fright! Praise the Lord! Yes, there was some damage closer to the epicenter, and so we need to keep those families and communities in our prayers as they work to clean up and rebuild.
Our own home didn't come out of it completely unscathed either. During the earthquake, our hot-water pipes (we have a regular, full-sized water heater, something that is extremely rare in Costa Rica) burst and flooded our first floor. If it weren't for the large gap underneath the front door and the fact that our front terrace slopes down to the street, we would've come home to a real mess! As it was, water filled the utility room, the downstairs bathroom, the kitchen, the front bedroom, and then the living room before pouring out underneath the front door. As God would have it, our next door neighbors do most of their language study through tutoring, and so they were all at home during the quake and noticed water first trickling in the street in front of our house and then gushing. We still have not gotten a cell phone, so they called the school and someone at the school found Troy and brought him to the house so he could let them in. Someone else called our landlord, who came right over. Our neighbors and several other families as well all came over to help in the cleanup. By the time school let out early and the kids and I came home about an hour or so later, the 2-3 inches of water in our house was gone (yay for tile floors and squeegees! I don't even want to think how badly it would've been if we'd been in the States with carpet or wooden floors!), the landlord's furniture was upended so that it could dry, and several fans were placed throughout the first floor to help speed the drying process. Of everything that could have been ruined (mostly electronics), only the power cord for our computer was ruined! Everything is back to normal in the house, with only a couple fans left running to dispel the moisture from the hard-to-reach places. I am so thankful for our ILE family who rushed into action to help us in our time of need. We truly are blessed to be here among such amazing brothers and sisters in Christ.
While the furniture dried, we decided to do something fun, and so hopped in a couple taxis and went to eat lunch at the mall food court (Wendy's burgers and Frostys taste exactly like those back home! Yay!). After lunch, we walked through one of the department stores and saw that they had not been as fortunate during the earthquake. In their home section, there were glasses, vases, and picture frames broken. There was glass on the floor where they hadn't yet had a chance to clean. Some of the glasses in displays had tipped over into other glasses and shattered. It was a mess.
At home, we let the kids eat the sandwiches they'd prepared for lunch and then Mama made a double batch of the Ghirardelli brownies (a store called Price Smart sells a huge box of brownie mix. You get 6- 8x8 pan-sized packets, or 3- 9x13 pan-sized packets in each box, depending upon how big a batch you want to make) that are soooo good. If we always do ice cream after painful medical procedures, I figured something warm and sweet was in order after a major disaster.
For the most part, while we didn't enjoy the fright of the experience, most of us realized that it was not something that would be repeated. We might feel aftershocks, but we knew they wouldn't be as severe as the original quake. We also weren't expecting a quake with each loud sound (earthquakes are quite loud!). But as the day progressed, it became clear that some of the kids--Tori in particular--was actually quite terrified of a repeat performance. Every little sound spooked her. To top it all off, we had quite a thunderstorm last night--something else that just freaks her out. Between the storm and her terror over the earthquake and that another one would come, or that something would fall on her head, it was quite a long time before she was able to get to sleep. I even appealed to many of you and our other supporters and friends on Facebook, asking for prayer for her and for the other kids. At about 11 PM, she came into my room literally shaking in fear. I had her snuggled under the covers with me and spent about 15 minutes holding her tightly and praying over her silently. I rebuked the fear and Satan's attempt to paralyze her with that fear. I prayed God's peace over her, especially that God would fill her with a soothing peace and calmness to help her immediately be able to rest. She went back to her bed and I did not see her the rest of the night. She told me this morning that as soon as she laid down, she went right to sleep. Praise God for answered prayer! Thank you for praying for Tori especially. God answered our prayers for her last night!
This morning, it became clear to me that she was not the only one who'd been struggling with fear during the night. One of the boys said to me when I came downstairs, "Mama! We're still alive!" I pray that as each day passes, the fear that we will have another earthquake, or that things will fall on them in their sleep lessens and passes. I pray that my children--all of us--remember our verses in Psalms.
Yesterday, when the earth moved, God was our very real refuge and shield. Praise God! Let us remember that any time our world seems to move--whether literally or because of situations or circumstances beyond our control.
Here is Psalm 5 in its entirety:
Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch. For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers. You destroy those who speak lies; the LORD abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house. I will bow down toward your holy temple in the fear of you. Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me. For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue. Make them bear their guilt, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out, for they have rebelled against you. But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.
In the morning you hear my voice... Let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them... For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.
These are verses that were especially poignant to us later in the morning.
School begins at 7:30. After the first hour, we take a short break and move on to our second class. For me, that means staying in the same room for both hours (both hours make up my grammar class). My room is on the second floor of the building. With the windows open and the ceiling fan on, there is the most delicious breeze up there. Troy's two morning classes are downstairs (I believe his last 2 hours of the day make up his grammar class, but I'm not positive. As it always took me at least a month into a new semester during his seminary days to know his schedule, so it is here. I'm happy enough just to know my own!)
Just after we'd begun the second part of my grammar session, my desk started shaking. At first, I thought the man behind me had his feet on it and was really nervous about something. It was that soft. Then, the shaking became more intense and I realized with a jolt that he was not shaking my chair: we were experiencing our first earthquake! The first bit of it lasted just a few seconds, then it briefly stopped. We all looked at each other and at the teacher. He was perfectly calm, and looked as if he believed it was over. But it wasn't. When the room began very intensely shaking (I was actually getting quite nauseous at this point from the motion), my teacher marshaled us out the door. He remained calm throughout, but the sharpness in his tone relayed the urgency of the situation. As calmly as individuals who have never experienced an earthquake can be, we quickly walked down the stairs and congregated on the sidewalk in front of the building. I was immediately panicked for the children. Were they okay? Were they hurt? Were they as scared as I was? I felt a check in my soul about immediately rushing to them, and I believe that was a good thing. Troy is much calmer in emergency situations than I am, and as his class evacuated, instead of heading to the parking lot (which was what the rest of us were told to do), he immediately went to check on the kids. Because of his attitude upon discovering them ("Hey, guys wasn't that cool?"), the kids had a better initial outlook upon the situation than they would've if Mama had come flying down the stairs, gathering them all up in her arms and weeping over them.
Once the adults had gathered in the upper parking lot (our designated meeting place for emergencies) and the kids had gathered in the lower playground (their designated meeting place for emergencies), the adults met in the chapel to pray and to catch our breaths. Most of the Spanish teachers are women, many mothers concerned about their own children. It was at that point that someone looked up the information. That the epicenter was in a town on the NW Pacific coast (about 88 miles from San Jose), that it was a 7.6 on the Richter scale, and that due to its location, a tsunami warning had been issued up and down the Pacific coast from Mexico to Peru. Thankfully, it was cancelled shortly afterward without any tsunamis reported. We rejoiced that, aside from some books that fell off the shelves in the library and a few clocks that fell off the wall, there was no damage to the campus. There were no injuries, and everyone was okay. What a miracle!
I couldn't help but remember the Psalm Troy had read just a few hours before. God had indeed been our refuge and our shield during the earthquake. He protected us from harm. He protected the campus from harm. In all of Costa Rica, there was only 1 death reported, and that was a heart-attack due to fright! Praise the Lord! Yes, there was some damage closer to the epicenter, and so we need to keep those families and communities in our prayers as they work to clean up and rebuild.
Our own home didn't come out of it completely unscathed either. During the earthquake, our hot-water pipes (we have a regular, full-sized water heater, something that is extremely rare in Costa Rica) burst and flooded our first floor. If it weren't for the large gap underneath the front door and the fact that our front terrace slopes down to the street, we would've come home to a real mess! As it was, water filled the utility room, the downstairs bathroom, the kitchen, the front bedroom, and then the living room before pouring out underneath the front door. As God would have it, our next door neighbors do most of their language study through tutoring, and so they were all at home during the quake and noticed water first trickling in the street in front of our house and then gushing. We still have not gotten a cell phone, so they called the school and someone at the school found Troy and brought him to the house so he could let them in. Someone else called our landlord, who came right over. Our neighbors and several other families as well all came over to help in the cleanup. By the time school let out early and the kids and I came home about an hour or so later, the 2-3 inches of water in our house was gone (yay for tile floors and squeegees! I don't even want to think how badly it would've been if we'd been in the States with carpet or wooden floors!), the landlord's furniture was upended so that it could dry, and several fans were placed throughout the first floor to help speed the drying process. Of everything that could have been ruined (mostly electronics), only the power cord for our computer was ruined! Everything is back to normal in the house, with only a couple fans left running to dispel the moisture from the hard-to-reach places. I am so thankful for our ILE family who rushed into action to help us in our time of need. We truly are blessed to be here among such amazing brothers and sisters in Christ.
While the furniture dried, we decided to do something fun, and so hopped in a couple taxis and went to eat lunch at the mall food court (Wendy's burgers and Frostys taste exactly like those back home! Yay!). After lunch, we walked through one of the department stores and saw that they had not been as fortunate during the earthquake. In their home section, there were glasses, vases, and picture frames broken. There was glass on the floor where they hadn't yet had a chance to clean. Some of the glasses in displays had tipped over into other glasses and shattered. It was a mess.
At home, we let the kids eat the sandwiches they'd prepared for lunch and then Mama made a double batch of the Ghirardelli brownies (a store called Price Smart sells a huge box of brownie mix. You get 6- 8x8 pan-sized packets, or 3- 9x13 pan-sized packets in each box, depending upon how big a batch you want to make) that are soooo good. If we always do ice cream after painful medical procedures, I figured something warm and sweet was in order after a major disaster.
For the most part, while we didn't enjoy the fright of the experience, most of us realized that it was not something that would be repeated. We might feel aftershocks, but we knew they wouldn't be as severe as the original quake. We also weren't expecting a quake with each loud sound (earthquakes are quite loud!). But as the day progressed, it became clear that some of the kids--Tori in particular--was actually quite terrified of a repeat performance. Every little sound spooked her. To top it all off, we had quite a thunderstorm last night--something else that just freaks her out. Between the storm and her terror over the earthquake and that another one would come, or that something would fall on her head, it was quite a long time before she was able to get to sleep. I even appealed to many of you and our other supporters and friends on Facebook, asking for prayer for her and for the other kids. At about 11 PM, she came into my room literally shaking in fear. I had her snuggled under the covers with me and spent about 15 minutes holding her tightly and praying over her silently. I rebuked the fear and Satan's attempt to paralyze her with that fear. I prayed God's peace over her, especially that God would fill her with a soothing peace and calmness to help her immediately be able to rest. She went back to her bed and I did not see her the rest of the night. She told me this morning that as soon as she laid down, she went right to sleep. Praise God for answered prayer! Thank you for praying for Tori especially. God answered our prayers for her last night!
This morning, it became clear to me that she was not the only one who'd been struggling with fear during the night. One of the boys said to me when I came downstairs, "Mama! We're still alive!" I pray that as each day passes, the fear that we will have another earthquake, or that things will fall on them in their sleep lessens and passes. I pray that my children--all of us--remember our verses in Psalms.
Yesterday, when the earth moved, God was our very real refuge and shield. Praise God! Let us remember that any time our world seems to move--whether literally or because of situations or circumstances beyond our control.
9/04/2012
First Day of Language School
I think I'd like to make a t-shirt that says, "I survived my first day of language school without suffering a breakdown." (Or without killing anyone.)
Yes, it was a lot to take in. And yes, I struggled with some of the pronunciation. But then again, so did just about everyone else in my beginner's section (praise God I'm not alone!). I've also been told that the real breakdown comes about 2 - 2 1/2 weeks in, so I guess that means I'm in the "honeymoon" phase of learning Spanish.
Over the last two weeks that we've been here, I haven't been able to communicate. But I've listened to those who can. I think this has been very helpful for me. A big part of learning another language is listening. In fact, our homework assignment tonight for one of my sections was to come home and watch some Spanish television or listen to some music in Spanish. That, I can do! And have been doing!
While there are still sounds that I struggle with (the double R sound in particular), I've actually started making these sounds as long as I don't over-think them. This has been my biggest struggle in the past, I think. I've convinced myself that I can't roll my Rs or pronounced the R flap. But I've heard myself do it! So I believe a retraining session is in order. I need to remind myself that, as long as I don't over-think it, I can make those sounds. I may not be able to just sit here and roll some Rs off for you, as if making car sounds with my son's toy cars. But when using those words in a sentence or when repeating them, making those sounds is certainly within my grasp.
I'm honestly very encouraged about how this year will go. I'm not naive enough to think every day is going to be this wonderful. And I'm not naive enough to think I'll just "get it". No. I realize it will be a struggle at times. I realize there will be tears (mine and my professors'). There will be days I want to chuck it all and hop the first plane back to the States.
What I'm so grateful for, however, was that God helped me get through today. As we learned with Tayler's hospitalization those first five weeks of her life, the key is to take each day at it comes. When I get up tomorrow morning, God will give me the grace, strength, and ability to get through tomorrow. That's it. The next day when I get up, He'll do it again for that day. By taking each day as it comes, we will get through the first month. The first trimester. And then, the entire year.
Yes, it was a lot to take in. And yes, I struggled with some of the pronunciation. But then again, so did just about everyone else in my beginner's section (praise God I'm not alone!). I've also been told that the real breakdown comes about 2 - 2 1/2 weeks in, so I guess that means I'm in the "honeymoon" phase of learning Spanish.
Over the last two weeks that we've been here, I haven't been able to communicate. But I've listened to those who can. I think this has been very helpful for me. A big part of learning another language is listening. In fact, our homework assignment tonight for one of my sections was to come home and watch some Spanish television or listen to some music in Spanish. That, I can do! And have been doing!
While there are still sounds that I struggle with (the double R sound in particular), I've actually started making these sounds as long as I don't over-think them. This has been my biggest struggle in the past, I think. I've convinced myself that I can't roll my Rs or pronounced the R flap. But I've heard myself do it! So I believe a retraining session is in order. I need to remind myself that, as long as I don't over-think it, I can make those sounds. I may not be able to just sit here and roll some Rs off for you, as if making car sounds with my son's toy cars. But when using those words in a sentence or when repeating them, making those sounds is certainly within my grasp.
I'm honestly very encouraged about how this year will go. I'm not naive enough to think every day is going to be this wonderful. And I'm not naive enough to think I'll just "get it". No. I realize it will be a struggle at times. I realize there will be tears (mine and my professors'). There will be days I want to chuck it all and hop the first plane back to the States.
What I'm so grateful for, however, was that God helped me get through today. As we learned with Tayler's hospitalization those first five weeks of her life, the key is to take each day at it comes. When I get up tomorrow morning, God will give me the grace, strength, and ability to get through tomorrow. That's it. The next day when I get up, He'll do it again for that day. By taking each day as it comes, we will get through the first month. The first trimester. And then, the entire year.
9/02/2012
And a Little Child Shall Lead Them
This morning was our second Sunday here in Costa Rica. Back home, we come from a very traditional church with excellent music. If it's particularly rousing--if--we might clap a bit. We lean a bit more toward the "high church" side of things. And this is what I've been accustomed to for almost the whole of my life.
I would never classify the church we've attended here as "high". And if you've ever attended worship in a Latin American church, you know that it's anything but docile. It's quite rousing. You can tell the new missionaries, or the ones who are more accustomed to the high church setting. We stand there, hands to the side (or firmly thrust in pockets), and participate as best we can in an unfamiliar language. Boy, do we stick out like a sore thumb.
There was another new family, whose first time attending was this morning. Indeed, this was their first Sunday in country. I delighted in watching as their young daughter worshiped. She clapped. She jumped up and down. Most importantly, she wore the most beautiful smile of joy on her face as she participated in worship with our Costa Rican brothers and sisters. I think she was greatly disappointed when the worship portion of the service was over.
Several of us are a bit more bashful in new settings and can appear a bit stand-offish. Not intentionally, of course. We just struggle with new things and not knowing what to do or say. This morning, I am happy to say that I was prepared for the Costa Rican greetings and leaned right in for the hug and kiss on the cheek that is customary. I was prepared for it. In fact, I only stuck my hand out for a handshake for those who first stuck theirs out. Anyway, after the song service, the kids are dismissed to attend children's church. Some of the kids were a bit more wiling to do this than others. But our new little friend? She was excited to meet new people! Her mom told me after church that she walked around telling everyone what her name was! It was if she didn't know the concept of a stranger. To her, these were not "strangers"; they were simply new friends to be made.
And it struck me that this is yet another example of why Christ admonishes us to be like little children. Their willingness to do new things, try new things, say new things--without fear of embarrassment is truly something we should strive for. There are not strangers, simply new friends to be made--especially friends who love Christ. And they have a willingness to abandon all cares of what they look like to others and throw everything they have into worshiping God.
So while the sermon was excellent this morning, the real message to me came from watching this sweet little girl as she allowed herself to become a part of the body of Christ in ways I struggled with.
I would never classify the church we've attended here as "high". And if you've ever attended worship in a Latin American church, you know that it's anything but docile. It's quite rousing. You can tell the new missionaries, or the ones who are more accustomed to the high church setting. We stand there, hands to the side (or firmly thrust in pockets), and participate as best we can in an unfamiliar language. Boy, do we stick out like a sore thumb.
There was another new family, whose first time attending was this morning. Indeed, this was their first Sunday in country. I delighted in watching as their young daughter worshiped. She clapped. She jumped up and down. Most importantly, she wore the most beautiful smile of joy on her face as she participated in worship with our Costa Rican brothers and sisters. I think she was greatly disappointed when the worship portion of the service was over.
Several of us are a bit more bashful in new settings and can appear a bit stand-offish. Not intentionally, of course. We just struggle with new things and not knowing what to do or say. This morning, I am happy to say that I was prepared for the Costa Rican greetings and leaned right in for the hug and kiss on the cheek that is customary. I was prepared for it. In fact, I only stuck my hand out for a handshake for those who first stuck theirs out. Anyway, after the song service, the kids are dismissed to attend children's church. Some of the kids were a bit more wiling to do this than others. But our new little friend? She was excited to meet new people! Her mom told me after church that she walked around telling everyone what her name was! It was if she didn't know the concept of a stranger. To her, these were not "strangers"; they were simply new friends to be made.
And it struck me that this is yet another example of why Christ admonishes us to be like little children. Their willingness to do new things, try new things, say new things--without fear of embarrassment is truly something we should strive for. There are not strangers, simply new friends to be made--especially friends who love Christ. And they have a willingness to abandon all cares of what they look like to others and throw everything they have into worshiping God.
So while the sermon was excellent this morning, the real message to me came from watching this sweet little girl as she allowed herself to become a part of the body of Christ in ways I struggled with.
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